Reading Can Be Dangerous

It's Summer now. I can tell because everyone has started greeting each other with, "Hot out, huh?" Instead of the customary "Hello."

Due to my family's history of multiple sclerosis (a disease that gets less prevalent the closer you get to the equator), I have been urged to spend more time outside encouraging production of Vitamin D. So about a month ago, I realized I could read manuscripts out at the park just as easily as I could indoors by my computer, with the help of my Kindle.

Twice now, I've gotten sunburn because I was too engrossed in reading to realize how long I had been sitting out. (I'm supposed to go about half an hour before I put on the sunscreen. Doctor's orders.) One of these burns led to a new client. (Hi, Nikki!)

Yesterday I got burned again. It's all on my back due to my hunched over reading position. I've spent the day trying to slather post-sun lotion and aloe on my back. I'm glad no one had a camera for that comedy.

I tell you this, dear reader, so you will know it is actually a compliment if I email you and say that you got me sunburned.

AgentFest

I just agreed to participate in AgentFest on July 12, 2012. More info about AgentFest (which is a part of the awesome ThrillerFest) can be found here.

Then it is off to PNWA as previously announced! I am going to be tired. Send me nap vibes.

DOC VOODOO GIVEAWAY!

My totally awesome client, Dale Lucas, has agreed to give away a copy of his novel DOC VOODOO: ACES AND EIGHTS to one lucky reader of my blog. I'm excited. I really think Dale is a talent and I want his awesome writing to reach more people.

DOC VOODOO: ACES AND EIGHTS was published by Beating Windward Press in late 2011. Here's how the publisher describes it: Jam-packed with mobsters, mystery, magic and mayhem, Dale Lucas offers a new twist on the action-hero and a love letter to classic pulp fiction like no other. Harlem, 1926: The First World War is still The Great War. Jazz is new and always in the air. Booze is black market and the market is worth killing over. As the West Indies and the Harlem Knights wage a bloody turf war in Harlem, the Irish, Italian and Jewish mobs circle like sharks and a helpless community bleeds. But one of Harlem's darkest denizens has been called by the old gods in answer to the people's prayers for help. He stalks Harlem's night as a skull-faced, gun-toting, supernaturally-powered avenger that the people call the Cemetary Man... the Witch Doctor... the Dread Baron... But you can just call him Doc Voodoo. In Doc Voodoo: Aces & Eights, The Queen Bee controls the speakeasies, brothels and numbers rackets in north Harlem; Papa House controls the south. As the Queen Bee puts the final touches on her new night club, Papa House makes his move to take over all of Harlem, declaring war. However Doc Voodoo is out to maintain peace, prosperity, and autonomy for the residents of Harlem. Navigating a minefield of gang rivalries, political corruption, and black magic, Doc Voodoo lays down a new law in Harlem, dispensing two-fisted justice with a heaping helping of hot lead!

DOC VOODOO has received rave reviews from SF Site, as well as authors Ron Fortier and Charles Saunders. Fortier called it "as good a pulp actioner as any other there on the market today"!

So if you are interested in pulp novels, just comment on this post and one lucky winner will be chosen at random. The winner will be able to chose what format they want to receive: trade paperback, Kindle, nook,Kobo, iPad, and some others. 

ETA: Oops. Forgot to mention. Contest will end exactly ONE WEEK from date of this post.

Finish

BEA is over for another year. I made it through, though my feet and shoulders are sore. I wish I could share all the cool ARCs and swag I got with my readers. Alas I cannot. So instead I'll share a silly picture.

Penguin was doing this to promote REACHED the third book in Ally Condie's MATCHED trilogy. I'm not the agent on these. I haven't even read the second book yet. Eeek. But I love me a silly picture.

I'm trapped in a glass case of emotion!

... Actually I am not. Couldn't even tough the bubble. ACTING! /Jon Lovitz

I also have a picture with my head on YEAR OF LIVING BIBLICALLY which I wish I could find for times I'm dispensing important information.  

LIRW

On Friday, I'll be at the LIRW luncheon (details). I should've thought to mention this before registration closed. But if you are coming please come say hi!

BEA

It's the most wonderful time of the year! ... No, not Christmas; BEA!

BEA stands for Book Expo America. It's the week when all publishing people make a pilgrimage to the Jacob K. Javits Center waaaaay on the West Side of Manhattan. We met, we try to get free books, we wait an hour for a coffee at the one Starbucks. Mostly we complain about the Javits Center. (It is too far. The food is expensive. The a/c doesn't work/works too well.)

Everyone is there. Publishers you never heard of are there. Authors are doing signings to promote their books. All are trying to hand you a flyer or button or promotional material. You want to see everything but that would take four lifetimes.

The first year I went, I got so much free stuff that my bag cut into my shoulder from the weight. It's my BEA war wound.

Now I just try to make lots of appointments, put my head down and elbows out and try to make my way through the crowd to get to them. He who has the sharpest elbows, wins.

How to read queries, a step by step guide

The other day an author asked me what she was "doing wrong" in her query. I didn't really have an answer. There are, obviously some BIG no-no's when querying, but I feel like those have been covered by other blogs.  Aside from those, what is "wrong" for me might work for another agent.

So, for what it is worth, here is my process for reviewing queries. 

Step 1. Realize that query folder is overflowing. Berate self for being lazy and/or having a life. 

Step 2. Decide to wade into the fray of battle to make unread email number lower. Screw courage to sticking place. 

Step 3. Open email, hoping for something clearly awesome that I can sell for millions of dollars. Or, failing that, an obvious reject since I simply must defeat the inbox. 

Step 4. Read email, possibly several times depending on potential of project. See below. 

LEVEL 1: Quick reading of query to see if it hits any of my "automatic rejection" buttons. EXAMPLES: It's a screenplay; it's a book genre I do not handle, novel is 600,000 words long, the author cannot write in English, author is potentially crazy and/or lists heinous crimes committed. (NOTE: I feel like anyone reading this could beat this level.)  

LEVEL 2: Book is in my wheelhouse, now examine premise. Is this something I would read? Possible reasons for rejection at this level: Don't like concept, I have read this book before, sounds boring, etc. 

LEVEL 3: Ooh, shiny! Is something I would read, but do I think I can sell it? Possible reasons for rejection at this level: I have something similar and haven't been able to sell it, editors don't want this, don't know publisher in that area, etc. 

LEVEL 4: I must read more!  Author has beaten levels. Excitement and rejoicing.

Step 5. Repeat these steps until my eyes start to cross and words look fuzzy. Admit defeat. Wring hands like maniacal super villain and announce that "I will get you next time, slush pile."

Conferences

I had a good day today at the CT Fiction Fest. Conferences still make me a bit nervous. I am afraid of being a huge disappointment to people who want to meet me. Then writers are nervous about their pitch. So everyone is uncomfortable.But today was, as I said, good. Phew! I think I got some good pitches. We'll see.

I need to get out to different conferences. I seem to attend the same ones! And see the same people! So if you are reading this and involved in a planning a conference, please shoot me an email and I'll see if I can't fit it in!

Murder Complex

L. Perkins Agency client Lindsay Cummings talks with Girls in the Stacks about finding an agent (my lovely coworker Louise Fury), and getting a book deal. I like this podcast because it's like listening in on a group of friends chatting.

And of course we love Lindsay.

Contracts

I like book publishing contracts. I am very weird. They are a strange animal. Unique to the industry, hard for outsiders to understand. When I was at NYU, I took a course with Jan Constantine (General Counsel at the Authors Guild) and one of my favorite parts was learning about the cases that shaped the book contract as we know it.

I still have my notebook and folder from that class because I am a dork.

Anyway, back to the point. I was asked at a conference if there is a book to learn that sort of thing. And, yes, there are several. Jan used Negotiating the Book Contract by Mark Levine. (Mr. Levine also has a book for self-publishing authors called The Fine Print of Self Publishing which I'd recommend for all of you who DON'T want an agent.)

Sadly, I don't remember who asked me this originally.